13 Lessons Before 30 | Womens Web: Online Community For Indian Women

13 Lessons Before 30 | Womens Web: Online Community For Indian Women.

Reining in Thoughts

A friend of mine recently called me up to tell that she was getting married to her childhood sweetheart, another one to share the news that he had just bought his own apartment, another one to invite for a party since he recently landed himself a promotion, another one for the naming ceremony of her baby. No, all these people did not call me up on the same day, but I definitely was reminded of all of them today putting me at my sulking best.

Seemingly, all these people are at a place in life when they are peaceful and contented with what they have, least bothered of what they don’t have and never once bothered of the myriad lives they trample upon in their blind strut towards centre stage.

Somehow, though my journey is a little slow, I can revel in the glory of the fact that I take care not to trample others’ lives, for I realize they too have a reason they live, they too have the reason to be what they are today.

The whole point of writing this is lost now. I wonder if its just me or it happens to others too. I start writing with some definite idea in my mind, but somewhere is the course of my composition, I find myself riding an entirely different tide. I end up with some other topic and some other conclusion. Though at times, this branching off is good, I am at times irritated for I feel handicapped to stick to conveying one particular idea completely. The question that remains for me is, is it just me or you too???

En Quién Confiar

There might be that girl in your class whom you feel sisterly towards, that guy in your neighbourhood who’s a big pal or even that colleague you often hang out with; becoming friendly with people does not necessitate that you trust them completely over matters that are highly classified.

Often we associate with different types of people why by the experiences they give us, the lessons they teach us and things they do to us; change the way we think, react or behave with other people. These people more often than not, cheat us, break our trust or backstab us; leaving us shattered and broken, not only from being hurt because of her/his actions, but also from the realization that we were stupid enough to place our trust on someone who was not worthy of it.

The question that lingers is, how do we know someone is trustworthy? Is there a foolproof way to test this out without taking a risk by giving him a chance to break the so called ‘trust’? 

True Love

Its raining in my backyard-Hooray (Photo credit: aussiegal

 

It was raining hard yesterday night. In this part of my country, which records on an average 3000 millimeters of rain annually, it is not a surprise phenomenon. But what never changes is how the rain brings out those aspects of me which were hitherto unknown even to me.

 

The water droplets checking their reflection against my window glass, the distant drum roll of thunder, the Nature draped in a fresh green sari, as if waiting for the sun to come out and propose to her and make her blush-isn’t all this enough to bring out the romantic in you?

 

There’s no bliss greater than the kiss of rain on your lips, no other ecstasy comparable to the high from dancing to the tune of rain, no other hug warmer than the water droplets caressing your body…

Of Dreams and Destiny

When you want to do something

When you’re forced to do something else

Your best never really comes out

No matter how hard you try

If what you want and

What you do are different

When something’s forced on you

You may pretend but never really try

For inside you a fire burns

A passion to follow what you want

Rather than what you should

But sometimes you have no options

Your whole life becomes a chase

You chase someone else’s dreams

A futile attempt to fulfill

Dreams which were never yours…

…Silence…

When silence is the only thing

You don’t want and that is

The only thing you’re granted

When you can’t overlook it

When it becomes the only reality

When there is no way around it

What else can you do

Other than accept it with open arms

Welcome it into your life

Let it rule you and your life

Letting it be extremely possessive

You gotta let go of everything else

All that matters to you

Suddenly becomes out of reach

The only thing you have is

The only one you have is

Eternal Silence

Shackles of which bind you closer

Every-time you want it to let go

You’re left with no options

But to die in its arms….

…She…

You may hate her..but when u cry..only she will be there…You may love her..but you will never understand her love….You may do things for her….but you will never understand her deeds…. She loves to write and write and write…but alas!!! She’s not a writer….She loves to sing and dance though not a performer….She loves love […]

Surrogacy in India

A couple, who cannot bring forth their own offspring into this world, needn’t be heartbroken for any longer. There are now various options they can choose from to have a baby they can call their own. Adoption has always been an option, but with the advancement of science and medicines, couples have the choice of other treatments/procedures, by which healthy couples can even have babies who are genetically theirs. Surrogacy is one of the options available to a hapless couple desperate for a baby.
Simply stated, surrogacy is the method of assisted reproduction where one woman carries a pregnancy to term and gives birth to another woman’s baby.
Surrogacy is generally classified into two types,
o Traditional/Natural Surrogacy
o In Vitro Fertilization/Gestational Surrogacy
Traditional or natural surrogacy involves the sperms of the male partner to be inseminated or by injecting the Oocytes (ICSI procedure) or by fertilizing the egg outside the would-be-mother’s body (IVF). A child thus born will be genetically related to the sperm donor and to the surrogate mother.
Any woman who is capable of producing eggs, but is medically incapable of carrying a pregnancy for the term of 9 months can be considered for an IVF/Gestational surrogacy. This is the best answer for fertile women who cannot bear children owing to the life threatening complications that may arise out of them carrying a pregnancy.
Generally, surrogates can be anyone, from close friends, to family or even complete strangers, but for a surrogate to remain anonymous is virtually impossible as she is the one who will carry and give birth to the baby. Under such a pregnancy, the child is not genetically related to the surrogate.
Surrogacy, also referred to as, Rent-a-Womb, has seen tremendous growth in India, parallel to the growth in other contributors to India’s booming health tourism industry.
India has become a favourite destination for surrogacy across the globe due to relatively higher success rates (number of babies actually carried home), lower costs of treatment and better healthcare professionals and infrastructure available here. Reports suggest the success rate of surrogacy is around 45% in case of fresh embryos and for frozen embryo’s it is about 25%. Surrogacy in India is estimated to cost around 12000 USD whereas the same process can easily cost up to 70000 USD in other countries. Adding to these facts is an added benefit that there are no legal restrictions on surrogacy in India; in fact, commercial surrogacy is even legalized in India. Certain estimates suggest that the infertility treatment, especially the surrogacy and related processes, already churns out whopping a 445 Million USD annually.

Surrogacy is increasingly being viewed as a commercial trade; the nature of which is being criticized by professionals, social activists as well as various healthcare professionals. It is also accused of taking advantage of hapless women belonging to the economically weaker sections of the society.
Problems caused by surrogacy may involve in the creation of stateless” children; as seen in the case of a baby whose parents were from Japan. The couple divorced in the middle of their surrogate pregnancy and neither of the biological parents wanted the baby. Things became all the more complicated as the baby was denied Japanese identity since its mother had given up the baby. There also are instances of complications such as the surrogate wanting to keep the baby for herself and not wanting to give up the baby to its biological parents.
Increasing protests by human rights and women’s welfare activists’ who are concerned of the surrogates, call for regulations and laws to protect the rights of the women who become surrogates; for it is next to impossible to ascertain whether they are being exploited or being forced into becoming surrogates by some irresponsible husband of theirs or choosing to be surrogates of their own accord. India definitely needs to keep a check on the way the agencies operate and also ensure that the surrogate mothers’ are paid their dues.

Catching the Butterflies

There comes a time in life, when your parents, relatives and friends expect you to find someone and get settled in life. No matter how times have changed, no matter how much our country has progressed, girls still are expected to not lead single lives, fending for their own and looking after themselves. Agreed that the world is a tad too dangerous for the single girl out there, but that does not mean that we should limit our dreams, cut off our wings so that we are not tempted to fly.
If God had not intended us to fly, he would not have given us the wings or the desire to soar the skies. If Had He intended us to live small, He would not have made the world so big. As long as there are opportunities in this world, people must grab them, irrespective of their gender.
It is here that we can talk of opportunities being denied to a girl child in an ever-developing country like India, but that is not my concern here. When she is given the opportunity to learn and grow, why should she be denied the opportunity to find success where she wants to… just because the society thinks you should start a family at this particular an age? What other reason can be so lame!!
In my opinion, she should be given freedom – to make a career if she so wishes to, to get married if that is her wish. Parents do play a very very important role in every child’s life, especially a girl’s. But that does not warrant them to sacrifice their daughter’s happiness just because your society thinks in a particular manner. Well, after all, no matter how much your daughter grows up, she has that little girl’s heart who runs behind the bright butterflies of life.

Maybe its Just Me :)

It has been quite a while since my formal education is completed, well not completed in the sense of ‘learning over’ but what I mean is I’ve completed my masters and am currently engaged in the promotion of a few brands on the internet. Time flies when you enjoy what you do. I seriously did not think I would last more than a month in any job. But, still wonder what made me stick on here for nearly two years now. Well, I do know the answers to it too.

Firstly, there is lots to learn, lots as in, really really a lot. And the internet is something that changes almost everyday; offering you chances to learn some new trick every day. So, surprising even myself, I found that job which does not bore me to death(hasn’t happened till now at least) or which does not stop offering me challenges in life(yet!). And secondly, the more important thing is that I’ve made a bunch of really really good friends who now almost mean the world to me.

But now that familiar feeling has started to gnaw me yet again. The urging to do something totally out of the ordinary, to just step out into the world and wander off into the uncertainty, the feeling to go out there and do something whacky you wouldn’t ever dream of. I am contemplating quitting my current job for something crazier or maybe something more sober….

Maybe its just the way I am… anything which is even remotely permanent in nature begins to bore me; maybe my spirit was born to wander… maybe I will never understand the reason for this feeling….

 

My Teacher

The man was going about his daily business as usual, on his way to have his breakfast, he exits the building in which he stays, holding an ancient suitcase and the latest edition of a leading business daily. Time has taken its toll. The small frame has become frail now; the lines on his skin have become deeper and he has developed a slight stoop. But, needless to say, the man still loves everyone the same way he used to, beaming at every child and talking to every pebble on his way. Walking up the stairs, nearing the library, he sees me. I must say, he looks pleasantly surprised, obviously happy to see his dear Mol after about 2 years. We spent time sharing what passed in the last two years, he enquiring about my job, friends and me about his family and health. I think I saw the trace of a few silent tears when he shared his feelings about leaving Holy Grace Academy forever. He says he loves the profession and loves his students, and I saw that love in his eyes today.
All I could say to my dear Sreedharan Sir was, “we love you too Sir and you will always be in our prayers”

The love, kindness and warmth you shared with us, will always live on forever in our hearts.